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Under hypnosis adults can be
coaxed to “regress” back to the time they were children. But this “regression,”
despite all the sensationalistic claims in the popular press to the contrary,
is not true. Scientists have observed that adults who are hypnotically
“regressed” do not become children, rather they imitate children, and they do a
very poor job at that. So alien is the experience of being children for us that
even under the influence of hypnosis we cannot reproduce it convincingly. Why
is this? Why as adults can’t we evoke accurately what it was to be a child?
I imagine this is
because when we grow up the world view of the child is extinguished in our
minds and replaced with that of the adult, and this probably has some survival
value. The world can be a terrible place. Like they say “it’s a jungle out
there.” With few exceptions children cannot effectively survive in the adult
world. That is why children need parents to guide, protect, and educate them.
But this tends to turn parenting into a one-way street. Children are cute and
fun. We love and enjoy them. But even as we laugh with them (sometimes at
them) we are conscious that their state is transitory, and we as parents know
that it’s our job to bring about its demise gradually, effectively
converting them into adults. Adults who will have, like us, forgotten what it
was to be a child.
In our life children are
seen as a joy, a stage, a fulfillment of some kind, or a rite of passage, but
they are seldom seen as individuals from whom we can learn anything. And why
should they? Children are not fit to live in the adult world. What can they
possibly teach us that can be of any use in our lives? To me the answer is
obvious. Children can teach us what it was to be a child. They can teach us to
again see the world through the eyes of a child.
But why would we want to
learn that?
The
recently deceased writer Ray Bradbury once said the great thing about his
life was that everything he accomplished was the result of who he was when he
was 12 or 13 years old. In fact, he described himself as “that special freak,
the man with the child inside who remembers all.” I paraphrase Mr. Bradbury, an
author of boundless creativity and the kindest of hearts, to highlight the
importance of making parenting a two-way street. Yes, we should educate
children, but we should also allow children to educate us about remembering
what it was to be a child and about seeing the world through the eyes of a
child. This will enrich our lives as adults and help us know ourselves a little
better because many aspects of our adult lives have been shaped by the child we
were and how that child interacted with the world.
If you want a better
understanding of what I mean, you can read my book “The Sun Zebra,” which is
available as an e-book on Amazon. This book is what I describe as a “children’s
book for grownups.” The stories deal with how the world of adults and its hard
realities intersects with the magical carefree world of children. This book
squarely fits the philosophy that parenting should be a two-way street.
So on this Father’s Day
please take a good look at your children and consider carefully what they say
and what they do. Not only are they probably the closest you can get to
understanding who you were then and what you are now, but you can learn from
them to see the world in a different light.
To order a copy of "The Sun Zebra," click here.
Visit Rolando Garcia's website to read his essays, short stories, and poems. You can also read his work on the social publishing site Scribd.
To order a copy of "The Sun Zebra," click here.
Visit Rolando Garcia's website to read his essays, short stories, and poems. You can also read his work on the social publishing site Scribd.
I agree wholeheartedly. I feel I am blessed to have my children - they are such teachers for me, especially my son. He can be exceedingly difficult but wow, such wisdom falls unexpectedly from his mouth and from his actions. I loved your book - it was truly inspirational. Looking forward to you guesting on my blog :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment Claire. Children are great teachers if we listen to them. Let me know about the guest post.
ReplyDeleteAlso thank you Barbara for allowing me to post on your site! : ^ )
Claire, Thanks so much for commenting. I loved "The Sun Zebra" too.
DeleteAnd Rolando, thank you for this excellent post.